Its simple enough.
Posted by: Emkay on: July 11, 2009
You don’t trust me. Therefore, you don’t love me. And that is hurtful enough.Anyway, thank you for coming into my life. I understand, you must go on your journey. Good luck.
Less this, less that.
Posted by: Emkay on: July 11, 2009
Salam n good day!
I haven’t updated my blog for quite a time. I just don’t feel like writing.hmm…
Ok, so, I am having ‘less’now. Less of space, less of privacy, less of personal time, less of place to mess things up!Wooh!Thts quite a lot. But Im ok with it now.
Before this, I had this room all for myself. 3 desks. 1 for food stuff, 2 for workstation [which I changed the function to be more like..alll-junks-and-rubbish-station,haha]. Quite a space to lying around on the floor. But not anymore now. Coz I have to share it with somebody else.
The new students are coming next week, n they r coming in a large number. N Im not exaggeratin’, coz there seems to be quite a problem with students’ accomodation. That is not good, seriously. The Hostel Admin stuff 4-6 people for a 3-pax room. WTHeck??.That is crazy. But Im fortunate enuff, coz I am livin in a 2-pax room, n I was xtra lucky in the last SEM for being able to dominate the room *evil laugh*. So, since tht there is not way for me to be alone for this SEM, I shift my furniture myself with a help from Aliaa, Qila and Ila. Tht included setting up the double-decker bed, and moving in an ancient wardrobe.
Since that they’re stuffing students in every place, [as long as u can call it 'a space'], I HAVE to have to roomate. So, I tot that Im going to get a Junior. I don’t mind dowh. It has been long enuff for me to accept the fact tht Im not going to have a solid privacy. T_T
Until Thursday’s morning arrived and someone knock on the door at 7.30 a.m.,
The housemate: Hey, do you mind if I move into your room?
Me: *Brushing my eyes* Hah?Owh..I think tht would be okay
The housemate: No, coz you r a kind who make your own business, just like me.
Me: Owh, of course, I don’t mind dowh. Hey, what time is it?
The housemate: 7.30. Hey, you have just waken up?
Me: Owh,yea, it’s obvious enuff, isn’t it? Hey,do you have any problem with your roomate?
The housemate: Er…yea, we used to have problem last year but we are okay now.
Me: Owh, ok. I don’t mind dowh if you want to move in.
The housemate: Seriously?
Me: Yea, of course. Now maybe I can excuse myself. I wanna take a bath [class starts at 8].
Woohoo!So I don’t get a Jr. instead she is 19 as well, only tht she is not TESL student, but PPISMP Kajian Sosial student.
Actually, we r quite an opposite. I am the messy type person, while she is the tidy type person.hoho~So,having such roomate makes me a ‘little’ [read 'micro'] tidy in the future. At least thts wht Im hoping for~hoho~~
Okey, what I am suffering NOW is…I live on the upper deck. But thts not the problem, I choose to pick the upper deck. But the problem now is, whenever Im using my lappy on my bed, which is ALWAYS, and I have to switch it on the power outlet, the wyre always loosen up and fell to the floor. And I have to climb down to take it Huwargghh!And just now, it has fallen 2 times, so, 2climb-up-2climb-down. Another minor problem is, as I charge my handphone, there is a high possibility tht I shove it down to the floor from the upper deck. It happened, just now. Haha.But Im not worry. ALL handset which I used must learn from the master. And I guess they have been designed to be as tough as me. Hoho. Take a look at my handphone, full of scratch.But still, it is as good as the master itself. Its the handphone tht choose the master.Haha~
I guess tht is all for now.
Salam~
When the day met the night..
Posted by: Emkay on: July 1, 2009
- In: love
- Leave a Comment
Salam n good day!
Hmm, lately I have come across so many ‘heart’ problems..masalah hati dan perasaan.haha..lucu banget..
It’s not the problem that is funny..but I tend to shook my head when I think back..when I think back about myself. I was [an am] stupid..
If people ask me about my love life, I revealed it easily. There is nothing to hide. And it belongs to the past. So I have moved over. Have got over it..
When I think back, being frenz has always made me feel better..you confide in frenz..you feel better..but you hardly confide in your lover..coz sometime you just want to appear to be the best..to be strong on the surface..even thou not all the way through..but in frenz?S/he is the place for you to pour your worry..their silence means s/he is thinking. S/he might not offer help..but to have someone who you can trust is already enuff…isn’t it?
When you love your frenz, you would prefer to show your true colour..the real you ..becoz you feel happy the way you are, that’s why. And tht’s why you feel happy…bcoz you don’t have to pretend..you can be the real you.
But can you do the same to your lover?I don’t know. I have always felt the absence of frenship in relationship..and I don’t like it. I feel miserable bcoz you cannot really become yourself.
And the worse part of all relationship is when you start as frenz and gradually become lovers..Haha. Yea, that kind of relationship ALWAYS sounds promising. I like it as well..but I have never liked the consequences if we broke up…you would NEVER get the old, happy times anymore…every meeting seems weird and strange.and you feel like running away..to avoid it at all cost..that is the consequences that I am afraid the most..to not being able to have him anymore..to lose him, I mean her old him forever. Even thinking about this situation makes me feel hollow and bleak. Bleak. It hurts when you lose frenz that you cherish most.
People see me laugh, have they ever see through me? Yea, I have never give it a chance. I have always pretend to be strong. And that teach me to be strong..my ex used to complaint..’You don’t have to pretend to be strong all the time!’.Haha..and yea, he is right..but somehow, I prefer it to be this way..I cannot afford to confide in people more than I should..because, if I do, they will see me cry. And my strength makes me trustworthy..because they always see me in perfect way..in a way that I am a kind who is invulnerable..who is less-human,because I don’t seem to care about anything, I don’t seem to be hurt merely by words, I seem to have…no emotion.
Am I?
Well, The Lion, will always be The Lion, he cannot afford to let the lioness to lose faith in him!^_^
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